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NHK makes tame, ghastly family entertainment tamer, ghastlier

TV viewers shocked. No one thought that was possible.

After last year's Kohaku incident with the not actually nude backup dancers, NHK decided to make this year's Kohaku the tamest ever. Even the wacky drag performers with their wacky costumes were operating at their standard level of wack.

The only really horrifying number was, as I have grown to expect, the children's big song and dance number. This year we were treated to the sight of 500 or 600 little children with bug puppets on their hands spanking their booties and singing about the butt chewin' bug. Just so we couldn't miss the point, their costumes all had big, yellow, butt-enhancing bloomers. That number was mercifully short, yet somehow, not short enough. And even that was contrary to the usual policy of taking the most excruciating song of the year and turning it into a twenty minute extended dance mix. One year a song called "We've got tomorrow" was really big (and extremely annoying) and the Kohaku version of that song Did. Not. End. I think they're still performing it in a damp, dimly lit corner of NHK Hall.

Actually, that would explain why we haven't seen anything from that particular boy band lately.

Happy 2008, everyone! Akemashite omedetou!

Let's hope that Year of the Mousie lulls the NHK people into a false sense of security so the Kohaku can get back to its proper business of horrifying the viewing public.