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Linguistics, ladies' underwear, and the geek mind

Linguists use the term "back formation" to describe the development of new terminology for existing concepts when some new, similar concept comes along and differentiation becomes required. For example, once there were books. After paperback books were developed, what we used to call books were then called hardback books. "Hardback book" is a back formation.

Once upon a time, one could go to the lingerie department and find bras, padded bras, and pushup bras. Then, over the 1990s underwires crept into all but a very few bras, making life difficult for those of us who do not want red smiley shapes pressed into the flesh below our bosoms. (Did someone decree that red smiley shapes are the new sexy? I bet they didn't take a vote.) Since the turn of the millennium, pads have joined underwires and occupied all but a very few bras, making life difficult for those of us who do not want bras with bosoms already in them. (Did someone decree that we must all have Super! Huge! Breasts? With red smiley shapes underneath? If they took a vote, they used Diebold machines.) Of late, however, I've noticed a new lingerie trend, just barely budding out, to accommodate the consumer whose elderly non-wired and enhancement-free bras are disintegrating and who would happily spend money on new lingerie if she could find some that wouldn't set off metal detectors and violate the new ban on taking gels on airplanes. This new development in lingerie is being heralded with special signs and displays of …

Wireless bras.

Yes! A new back formation! Linguistics in action. The only problem is that in these days of packetized communications, the word "wireless" brings to mind certain, non-underwear-related associations.

When we walked by one of these signs, my poor brain was bouncing around between "Woo! Linguistics!" and "Internet! What's the power source?" The thought of buying lingerie was way down the queue.

And Oz turned to me and said, "You know, I saw that sign and I thought, I wonder how fast they are? What kind of data rates do they get? Are they 802.11g?"