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For the Pavlovian consumer

In today's peregrinations, I passed through the condiment aisle of the grocery store and stopped to pick up a bottle of ketchup. While I was examining the unit pricing and trying to figure out why differently shaped bottles of the same quantity of the same brand cost do not cost the same, I noticed some other bottles down on the bottom shelf (where they totally belonged). These were the "Celebrity Talking Labels" editions, imprinted with quotes from celebrities to raise money for charity. Presumably that's why the unit price was double that of other same-sized bottles without "Limited Edition" labels. That extra money goes to charity. The featured celebrities include William Shatner, the living brand himself. In addition to the celebrity quotes ("Fixes burgers at warp speed."), the labeling included an exhortation to "Collect all four."

Collect? Seriously, these were big bottles. Like, if your family consumes enough ketchup that you might go through more than one of these bottles before this promotion is over? You need to review the nutrition pyramid and forget what Ronald Regan tried to tell you back in the eighties about ketchup being a vegetable, because, natural mellowing agents or no, that is too damn much ketchup.

It's a good thing my brother isn't around. He'll buy any shiny plastic thing with a command to collect or a limited edition sticker on it.