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My life as white sale

Oh goody! More shopping.

The flannel sheets I've been using for the past few years are wearing out. The fitted sheet is worn to the consistency of Kleenex and will probably dissociate into its component fibers if stretched over the mattress another time. The flat sheet and pillow cases are in sturdier condition, but totally denuded of fuzz and, a fuzzy surface being the very essence of flannel, are therefore candidates for replacement as well.

Today we brave the icy roads and head out to a large chain store. Well, an inch or two of ice overlays my block, but the rest of the roads are clear. Minimal bravery required.

In the bizarre world of American retail, however, it's already spring. A few ice scrapers and sleds stand at the entrance to the store, but inside April holds sway over the stock. This works to my advantage to a small degree, because flannel sheet sets are half price. The selection, however, is minimal. My choices are black or red (dark colors don't seem right for bedding), beige plaid (what is the point of that? If you're going plaid, it ought to be Royal Stewart or Black Watch), or granny flowers. The selection is a little better for queen size because it includes a print of little dogs wearing sweaters. Dogs with sweaters! Almost as good as monkeys. Alas, I must settle for the granny flowers.

We find a little more ice to drive over on the way home. We observe the chunks of blackened ice dropping off the SUVs on the interstate, as if the trucks are pooping. Outside the chain stores, winter is still in charge.

277 words | January 23, 2005 10:27 PM | Real true story