When you (bleeding and unconscious) are rushed into the trauma unit at MCV, they don't bother with your name. You get identified as Trauma Fe, the "Fe" is for female (I suppose men get "Ma"), and you get a "trauma number" and a generic birthdate of 1 January of whatever year they pick based on how old you look. In my case, they knocked a couple years off my age. How flattering! As a result, however, all your medical records from your initial few hours in the trauma unit are associated with your trauma number and you get two birthdates to keep track of as you try and get your medical records consolidated once you regain consciousness. After all, there's nothing like the distraction of combat with a mindless bureaucracy when you're on opiates, in pain anyway, and trying to figure out what's happened to you.
For the whole week I was in the hospital, the name on my chart and the name plate on my room door was Trauma, Fe. Oz had to tell people that if they tried to call the hospital and reach me, or get my room number to come visit, that they shouldn't ask under my name, they should make inquiries regarding Trauma Fe. I asked the nurses about this (they knew my name and used it), but they explained that I'd be home before the name thing could get straightened out. This was the least of my problems and I wasn't really bothered by it. But one night, I awoke to a soft voice saying, "Miss Trauma? Miss Trauma?" when the health care helper who was on duty had to wake me up to take my blood pressure. I woke up laughing.
288 words | October 18, 2004 09:56 PM | Miss Trauma