The data analysis will take weeks if I try to learn the graphical programming language well enough to use it for that analysis. "But," I tell Dr. Smith, "I could do it in a half hour with Matlab."
So Matlab it is then. Now I have to get a copy installed on my computer. They are very careful about having everything licensed and legal here, by the way. Arrangements must be made. I know Amp&Effects (He's obsessed with his hypothetical senior design project for school. He wants to make a guitar amplifier with some extra features. It occurs to me that I actually own such an amp. I suppose I should tell him.) has Matlab on his machine, so I go ask him where I can get a copy.
"I only have the books. I think I gave the CDs back to Dr. Science." He rummages in his desk drawers to find the books, but I leave them with him as they are not much use without the software.
I go to Dr. Science's office. I find him at his desk. In one hand he holds a hamburger and in the other he holds the wrapper because he can't set his lunch on his desk. The desk, which is L-shaped and must have fifty square feet of surface area, is swamped to an average height of eight inches of papers, journals, circuit boards, manuals, old lunches (I'd put money on it), software boxes, and tools. An LCD monitor rises like a shark fin above this sea; presumably a keyboard swims somewhere below the surface.
I explain, "I need to put Matlab on my machine to analyze the Hamster data. Amp&Effects says that you have the copy…"
Dr. Science is horrified. "Oh no! He gave it to me? I always try to stop people—It will be easier to buy another copy than to find it again." Placing his lunch on the desk and therefore at risk of disappearance and subsequent fossilization, he comes out into the hall with me and we go talk to Amp&Effects again.
Dr. Science scolds him mildly, "You gave me the Matlab? And I let you do that?"
Amp&Effects grins uncertainly and says, "Ye-es."
"I can't believe I let you do that. I must not have been thinking." Dr. Science goes into a couple different labs and looks in some random drawers. "Oh, it is basically gone now. Let's see if Office Extrovert has a copy."
OE isn't around right now and we can't get into his cabinets. OE is the sole practitioner of inventory control around here. Since he wants to be able to find things hours or days after he's set them down, he uses the lock and key method to keep them from walking off (resources are treated as communal). This is not a bad thing at all. So long as he's around, all you have to do is ask him for stuff and you shall receive it in minutes, as opposed to—
"Well, I don't know where to look. I suppose we should order another copy."
513 words | June 19, 2004 03:19 PM | Rocket science