Every week, we have to attend a mandatory lecture by a researcher here at the facility. They make at least half the lectures truly mandatory by passing out our paychecks at them. This week's lecture they tricked us. The checks weren't ready yet, but they didn't tell us that until we went to the conference center. And on the basis of the disorganized sign-in process for this lecture, I'm dreading the mob scene that will result when real, as opposed to hypothetical, paychecks are involved. Nonetheless, we manage to file in and listen to a lecture about a nifty airbrush vehicle and assorted rationalizations for its mission based on the agency mission statement.
Ha! Mission Statement! The real mission statement: "Because it's cool and we want to. Oh yeah, and the advancement of knowledge and all that." I doubt the real mission statement would go over too well with the taxpayers.
The other intern in my section, Amp&Effects, and I slide into the back row (benefit of arriving late) next to Dr. Iron Fist/Velvet Glove, who is here on the faculty version of the program.
Throughout the lecture, he chuckles (as do I) at particularly propagandistic moments and emits little hisses at beating-of-dead-horse moments. At the end, we're subjected to announcements about different events, mostly lunches for people other than me. Dr. IF/VG greets the start of each announcement with "Eh!" and the end by making as if to rise.
"Now, for the picnic, be sure you bring proof of age…"
"Eh!"
"For faculty members, there will be a dutch luncheon in the cafeteria…"
"Eh!"
I can see Skipper two rows ahead. He is being good, sitting still for a whole hour. A new record for him? Dr. IF/VG should be ashamed. He may be getting a new nickname. Dr. Fidget, perhaps.
Finally the last announcement has been announced. Dr. IF/VG hops up and moves his arms like he's running. "Okay, let's go!"
I jump up too and put on my hat. "Yes! Back to work!"
336 words | June 16, 2004 08:02 PM | Rocket science