"Good and bad," called Dirk from the couch where he was sprawled, one foot twitching impatiently. "We've got Unthank coming here at around six-thirty, but Trip isn't back from work yet. If he doesn't get here in a few minutes, one of us will have to be disguised as Penrose. I got down my old makeup kit from when I did theater in college, so be prepared, it might be you. And no drama queen jokes," he said with a pointed look at Alice.
"Wouldn't dream of it, daahling."
A silver BMW pulled up in front of the duplex next door.
"Here's Trip. He's just parking now," Elizabeth said. She was looking out the windows and dreading the task of luring Trip over to the house. She still looked battered from the battle against the forces of Evil and doubted she could provide much in the way of bait.
"So, go on. What are you waiting for?" Alice asked.
"I don't think this is necessary. One of the guys should do it," she said. "And how am I supposed to get him over here anyhow?"
"Invite him over for a beer. And maybe you should wear something a little trashier than that sweatshirt." Dirk yawned.
"I'll go with you," offered Bob. "I've been intimidating people all day, I'm on a roll. We can get him over here."
Declining Alice's offer of a tight angora sweater and accepting Bob's offer of backup, Elizabeth headed over to Trip's with Bob at her heels. She banged on the door to the downstairs apartment.
Trip answered immediately. He had already slung his trench coat onto a coat tree and was loosening his tie. His smile for Elizabeth was tempered with wariness when he saw Bob with her. They exchanged greetings, Elizabeth speaking rather stiffly.
"What's up?" asked Trip.
Bob started talking before Elizabeth could issue her invitation for a beer.
"We need to talk to you again about whether you saw anything the night of the break-in," Bob said. "The police are coming back to go over some things with us. And since you were right here that night, we figured they would want to talk with you too."
"I already talked to the police. They've got everything I said written down and I don't have anything to add. Besides, I'm busy tonight."
"The police said they found another witness, and they wanted to give you a chance to maybe reconsider what you said." Bob's voice rose and Elizabeth sensed his weight shifting forward onto his toes. She edged out from between the two men.
"No way," said Trip. "Your witness is nuts. But I didn't see anything, I was on the phone."
"Who were you talking to?" asked Bob.
"None of your business. If this is all you all want, then this conversation is over." Trip began to close the door, but Bob shouldered past it into the apartment, fists clenched.
Surprised, Trip stepped back. Before he could raise his arms in defense, Bob hauled off and popped him on the jaw, stunning him. As he staggered away, Bob grabbed his arm and, twisting it behind his back, forced him outside. Elizabeth closed Trip's apartment door and ran after them.
"Bob! What did you do that for?"
"He had it coming to him," said Bob. "I've been waiting to do that for a long time."
Penrose hovering behind them, Dirk and Alice pulled open the front doors as the three of them approached. When Trip struggled, Penrose pressed two fingers against Trip's forehead and he calmed down. The housemates exchanged a glance, impressed.
Trip stood still, his face plastered with an expression more vacant than usual. "What's going on?" he asked.
Dirk said, "Listen, we know you broke into the house, but if you help us out here, then we won't turn you in."
"I don't know what you're talking about, but."
Penrose poked his forehead again.
"Oh." Trip's eyes opened wider and he looked a little nervous. "Jeez, y'all, I don't know what happened there. I didn't mean anything by it, I don't even know why I did it. What's a little broken glass between friends anyway?"
"You broke four windows and trashed the kitchen," exclaimed Dirk. "That's not just a little broken glass."
"There's no time for this. Unthank is going to be here any moment. You all need to get him ready," Penrose said to Elizabeth.
Dirk put a hand on Trip's shoulder and led him over to one of the living room chairs where he sat quietly, now looking dim and agitated. A red patch was darkening his jaw.
"Did you have to hit him?" Dirk asked.
"Oh, yes." Smiling slightly, Bob rubbed his knuckles.
"Well, now we have to cover it up." Dirk opened his theatrical makeup kit and tried to find some base that matched Trip's skin. He found a close enough match and began applying it with a sponge.
"You don't need to do that. A bruise won't form all that fast. Besides, Mr. Unthank won't care if his client has been punched," said Alice.
"Yes, but we're going for revenge here, remember?"
Trip squirmed away. "Not make-up," he wailed.
"Make him sit still," said Dirk.
Penrose did something that Elizabeth couldn't quite see and Trip quieted down and whimpered.
Dirk stood back and rubbed his chin as he considered the effect. "That's not really going to work. I think we need to add a little bit of stubble." He rummaged around in his kit for some stipple. He couldn't get a good match for Trip's hair, so he just applied the lightest color he had, which was still too dark.
"It makes him look like a bleached blond," Alice observed.
"I can darken his hair," said Dirk and reached into his kit again. Trip cringed. Dirk ordered him, "Stop twitching. Someone who was as involved with the Faery Queen as you were ought to be deal with a few spray-on highlights."
Elizabeth was afraid that Dirk was getting a little too involved with the makeup. She expected him to add some fencing scars or tattoos, but once he stopped fussing with the hair, he put the makeup paraphernalia back into the case and cleaned up.
Between the unevenly applied stubble and altered colors of his skin and hair, Trip looked highly disreputable. That, with the unbuttoned collar and loosened tie, made him look like a drunk at the end of a three-day bender. The disoriented expression on his face didn't help.
"Don't you think Unthank is going to notice something?" Elizabeth asked.
"Hey, this was your idea," said Dirk.
The room smelled like powder and solvents. Elizabeth and Bob picked up some old magazines and fanned the air around to disperse the smell a little bit. Alice wandered in from the kitchen sipping from a glass of water which she placed on a coffee table. Penrose stuck a coaster under the glass.
The knocker on the front door banged rapidly.
"He's here!"
Dirk looked around wildly for place to hide his makeup kit and stuffed it into a four-foot-tall Chinese vase standing near the pier glass. Joe dove back behind the portieres with his tape-recorder and Alice and Elizabeth settled themselves into comfortable chairs. Penrose stood behind Trip.
Bob led Mr. Unthank, who looked more like a rat than ever, into the living room and introduced Trip as Penrose. They shook hands. Mr. Unthank's eyes darted around as if he were scoping out all the exits, but he settled down and looked at Trip with a minimum of doubt. He actually appeared to be pleased.
Alice lifted her glass and touched it to her lips.
The housemates all settled around the room. Mr. Unthank sat uncomfortably in the chair to which he had been shown and dropped hints, which they ignored, that he would like them all to leave. Opening his briefcase and removing a tall stack of papers, he said, "I've only got a few minutes, so I hope we can get through this quickly. These documents relate to services performed by my firm on behalf of your trust and we need your signature so we can finalize the records and release some funds to cover the services."
He set the papers before Trip and offered him a pen. Trip ignored the pen and studied the papers. He frowned and began flipping through them quickly.
Penrose leaned over his shoulder, trying to read the papers. "Slow down," he said and poked Trip in the head, but Trip only sped up.
Growing disturbed by the examination of the papers, Mr. Unthank said, "You really don't need to read through all of those. It's quite straightforward. If we could just get to signing them." His voice trailed off suggestively.
Alice drew a finger around the rim of her glass, which emitted a high, clear note. "So, Mr. Unthank, I heard that your brother is designing the expansion to the Drastic Steps shoe store in Carytown. I work in the bookstore right next door."
Mr. Unthank looked at her strangely. "That's my daughter who did the design. She's quite a fan of the shoes they sell."
"Really? Is she a friend of the owner too?"
Looking less befuddled every second, Trip started talking as he continued going through the papers. Penrose, surprised, prodded his head again, but to no effect.
Trip said, "These are all backdated. Some of these dates are years old. And look, this one is blank." He held up a sheet of paper marked only with a signature line and date at the bottom. "Here's a contract that's witnessed already. This is not at all what I'd expect from this firm. What exactly are you trying to pull here?"
Mr. Unthank withdrew a handkerchief from an inside pocket of his coat and dabbed his forehead. "Nothing at all, this is just a formality," he stammered.
Elizabeth went over to Trip and took some of the papers from him. She read through them at a normal speed, looking at the actual text and not merely the dates as Trip had done. She held them so that Penrose could read over her shoulder.
Penrose said, "This is a cover-up. These amounts here, look." He traced a finger along a column of figures. "I remember seeing a statement with those numbers. There were a number of checks issued, but not for the items noted here. I wondered at the time, but I wasn't able to follow up."
"You think he just took the money?" she asked.
"He must have."
Trip was saying, "You are in serious trouble. We're going to launch a full-scale audit of your firm. I doubt this is the only client you're stealing from. We'll be there tomorrow morning." Trip was looking sharper all the time and Elizabeth feared he was breaking out from Penrose's thought control. Penrose left her to the papers and returned to Trip. He pressed two fingers of his right hand to Trip's forehead to subdue him, but to no avail, and finally gave up and started whispering in his ear.
Trip told Mr. Unthank he was fired.
Mr. Unthank jumped to his feet. "You have no authority to do that. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything if you'd just listen."
Trip rose as well. "I have more than enough authority to launch an audit of this account, however, and your employers are unlikely to allow you to continue working there once they discover what you've been doing."
Eyes darting wildly, Mr. Unthank backed away. The housemates advanced upon him, Alice with her glass of water. She inexpertly pretended to stumble and threw the water in his face. The water only made him wet and dripped off his glasses and jowls. Mr. Unthank blinked rapidly and mopped his face with his handkerchief. Alice was visibly disappointed at the lack of melting.
"Just how stupid did you think I was?" Trip demanded.
To Elizabeth, Penrose said, "Hang on to the papers, they're all I need, and get Unthank out of here before Trip gives everything away."
She said, "Bob, why don't you take Mr. Unthank to his car?"
Bob took the now very confused Mr. Unthank by the arm and escorted him from the house.
Trip looked around at the others with his usual smug smile. "I guess I showed him, hah!"
Penrose jabbed his forehead and Trip went blank. "Huh? What am I doing here?" He rubbed his chin and looked at the smear on his hand. "What is this stuff on my face?"
"Too much," muttered Penrose. He tapped Trip's forehead again. Trip started apologizing for having broken the windows and thanking Joe, who had emerged from behind the curtains, for not arresting him. He dithered for a couple minutes until his eyes fell on Elizabeth. "So, Elizabeth, are you busy tonight?"
Penrose slapped the back of his head and said, "You have to go now."
Trip blinked. "I have to go now. Bye." He headed out the door. Dirk and Bob stood at the front door and watched to make sure he found his way back to his apartment.
Dirk called, "No, Trip, to the left. Yes, the gray house. That's it, the door on the right."
"Will you show me how to do that?" Elizabeth asked Penrose.
"Certainly not."
Joe waved his antique tape-recorder. "So I guess y'all don't need this?"
The guys came back into the living room.
"Why the water?" Dirk asked Alice.
She said, "I just wanted to see if." she paused and looked at Joe. "Never mind."